You Hurt My Feelings

So today Clarissa needed discipline at one point, and I might have been a bit harsh in my tone while correcting her...so in response I heard the heartbreaking words, "You hurt my feelings, Mom." I avoided it at first, saying, "You're just sad because Mommy needed to discipline you." And she said, "No, my heart is hurt, Mom--you hurt my feelings." I did ask for forgiveness for getting ang-er-y, as she puts it, and she graciously forgave me. I keep wondering how old she can get before I "scar her for life," and marveling at how she forgives 70X7 times, just like Jesus says to. I guess she sees that mommy is repentant, and is trying to overcome this anger monster that turns me green and bushy-eyebrowed like the Incredible Hulk (I just watched the 70s version at the health club today, and it was hilarious. In one episode they encountered a bear, a rattlesnake, tracking dogs and men with guns on their tail, and of course quicksand).

At dinner she said, "Not as easy as I thought" when she was trying to scoop up a pile of parmesan cheese she had scraped together. That's what I think about this whole parenting gig sometimes--hmm, not as easy as I thought. The limitless patience, constant explaining to the point where you are tired of hearing yourself speak even more than hearing the question, "But why, mom?" But also trying to get down to the heart of things--how can she be so sweet to Charlie sometimes and then turn on him the next moment? We talked today about how the Bible says to "Be kind to one another" and how she can think about how to be kind to Charlie from her heart. She seemed to get it, but she also seemed to get the rule about not going outside without mommy and she did it twice today (Once was in her excitement about seeing the pool out there, even though it wasn't even filled yet, thankfully).

BTW, Charlie did not really like the pool like I thought he would--he loves baths, but did not want to have anything to do with the pool at first. It didn't help that the water was still freezing since I had just filled it (Clarissa helped, which is always a little taxing). He screamed and scrunched his legs up toward his ears--I don't know how he can fold himself in half in midair like that. Maybe we have the makings of a gymnast on our hands. Eventually I got him to sit on the side with me, and then walk through the water a bit, but that all ended when he slipped and landed face first and had a big gulp of water. So he sat on me and got me nice and wet with his hu-mongous diaper that had swelled up to the size of Maui. Need to splurge on some swim diapers--they haven't made it in the grocery cart yet because of our wacky weather here and there's always more urgent things to get. I'm going to try to use cloth more during the day with Charlie because if I use 4 diapers a day (and that's using each one to the max), it's a dollar a day, and I don't like that my little boy is covered in plastic all day. And that we are covering the earth in plastic. We did great with Clarissa but I have definitely slacked with Mr. Bubbs, a.k.a. the Bubby Boy.

When we were all playing "chase" ("dase") tonight, Charlie was saying, "Get you!" (dee too!) and before bed was giving me these goofy, wacky kisses as he was standing over me. It was so funny. I love kissing his chubbed out cheek while he's smiling. I managed to touch up some of his haircut I gave him this weekend--I think for the next month I'll continue to mentally chop off little pieces that I missed. Boys' haircuts are tricky! It's so feathery and fluffy in places, like Robert's hair in high school. I think I did okay though--and Robert did the bangs REAL NICE. No sudden moves where it's an inch shorter than we'd like (Not that that happened last time or anything).

I decided I need to make up silly songs to get me through the day more, like when Clarissa sang "I think he can zip in" about stuffing her purse with this little guy to the tune of "The Bear Went Over the Mountain." It was a very thorough rendering of the song, creatively using only those 6 words. I can substitute, "I think we will make it, I think we will make it, until Daddy gets home, why don't we have any chocolate, when does Daddy get hooooooooome? Dear Lord, let it be soon!" Soon I will post a version of the "Charlster" song, pioneered by Uncle Mokey. Charlie even sings along to the "dee dee dee dee deeeeee dee" part. I need to remember music--it lightens the mood significantly when it is getting heavy and serious in this house (YOU MUST OBEY, YOU MUST EAT, YOU MUST PLAY, YOU MUST SLEEP. My mantras).