Monday, June 23, 2008

Water, Must Have Water

I am the woman in the desert, each day reaching for the water that's not there, or draining the last few drops from a glass that just barely wet my tongue. Stuck in the glider rocker or on the couch, with that parched feeling that happens about two minutes into nursing, I look around with panic, eyes franticly searching for a solution to my need. And asking myself for the 1,277th time in the past 3 1/2 years, why did I not check for water first?

My dream is that in every room in our house there would be equal opportunity to get water. No more slow-trickle tap water from the upstairs bathroom. No more filling the cheapo brand Brita pitcher. No more wondering if the fridge filter still works, but hey, it's cold. No more wishing and hoping for a better tomorrow that has plenty of rushing water throughout the house. Now is the time for H2O freedom, the glug glug of multiple 50-gallon jugs with a free-flowing tap (and some child safety feature ideally, or we'd be asking for own mini-flood) as the water gushes into my glass right next to our bed, the rocker, the couch. What a day that will be. With *your help*, it can be a reality. Just $1 a day toward our water rejuvenation fund will help provide clean, healthy water for this thirsty, tired nursing mom. Send your gift today!

Monday, June 9, 2008

You Hurt My Feelings

So today Clarissa needed discipline at one point, and I might have been a bit harsh in my tone while correcting in response I heard the heartbreaking words, "You hurt my feelings, Mom." I avoided it at first, saying, "You're just sad because Mommy needed to discipline you." And she said, "No, my heart is hurt, Mom--you hurt my feelings." I did ask for forgiveness for getting ang-er-y, as she puts it, and she graciously forgave me. I keep wondering how old she can get before I "scar her for life," and marveling at how she forgives 70X7 times, just like Jesus says to. I guess she sees that mommy is repentant, and is trying to overcome this anger monster that turns me green and bushy-eyebrowed like the Incredible Hulk (I just watched the 70s version at the health club today, and it was hilarious. In one episode they encountered a bear, a rattlesnake, tracking dogs and men with guns on their tail, and of course quicksand).

At dinner she said, "Not as easy as I thought" when she was trying to scoop up a pile of parmesan cheese she had scraped together. That's what I think about this whole parenting gig sometimes--hmm, not as easy as I thought. The limitless patience, constant explaining to the point where you are tired of hearing yourself speak even more than hearing the question, "But why, mom?" But also trying to get down to the heart of things--how can she be so sweet to Charlie sometimes and then turn on him the next moment? We talked today about how the Bible says to "Be kind to one another" and how she can think about how to be kind to Charlie from her heart. She seemed to get it, but she also seemed to get the rule about not going outside without mommy and she did it twice today (Once was in her excitement about seeing the pool out there, even though it wasn't even filled yet, thankfully).

BTW, Charlie did not really like the pool like I thought he would--he loves baths, but did not want to have anything to do with the pool at first. It didn't help that the water was still freezing since I had just filled it (Clarissa helped, which is always a little taxing). He screamed and scrunched his legs up toward his ears--I don't know how he can fold himself in half in midair like that. Maybe we have the makings of a gymnast on our hands. Eventually I got him to sit on the side with me, and then walk through the water a bit, but that all ended when he slipped and landed face first and had a big gulp of water. So he sat on me and got me nice and wet with his hu-mongous diaper that had swelled up to the size of Maui. Need to splurge on some swim diapers--they haven't made it in the grocery cart yet because of our wacky weather here and there's always more urgent things to get. I'm going to try to use cloth more during the day with Charlie because if I use 4 diapers a day (and that's using each one to the max), it's a dollar a day, and I don't like that my little boy is covered in plastic all day. And that we are covering the earth in plastic. We did great with Clarissa but I have definitely slacked with Mr. Bubbs, a.k.a. the Bubby Boy.

When we were all playing "chase" ("dase") tonight, Charlie was saying, "Get you!" (dee too!) and before bed was giving me these goofy, wacky kisses as he was standing over me. It was so funny. I love kissing his chubbed out cheek while he's smiling. I managed to touch up some of his haircut I gave him this weekend--I think for the next month I'll continue to mentally chop off little pieces that I missed. Boys' haircuts are tricky! It's so feathery and fluffy in places, like Robert's hair in high school. I think I did okay though--and Robert did the bangs REAL NICE. No sudden moves where it's an inch shorter than we'd like (Not that that happened last time or anything).

I decided I need to make up silly songs to get me through the day more, like when Clarissa sang "I think he can zip in" about stuffing her purse with this little guy to the tune of "The Bear Went Over the Mountain." It was a very thorough rendering of the song, creatively using only those 6 words. I can substitute, "I think we will make it, I think we will make it, until Daddy gets home, why don't we have any chocolate, when does Daddy get hooooooooome? Dear Lord, let it be soon!" Soon I will post a version of the "Charlster" song, pioneered by Uncle Mokey. Charlie even sings along to the "dee dee dee dee deeeeee dee" part. I need to remember music--it lightens the mood significantly when it is getting heavy and serious in this house (YOU MUST OBEY, YOU MUST EAT, YOU MUST PLAY, YOU MUST SLEEP. My mantras).

Sunday, June 8, 2008

My Heart is Broken

She is only three-and-a-half (as of Friday), and she's already said the words every woman feels at one point or another: "My heart is hurt--it's broken, Mommy." Now before all women reading this freak out and wail with teary eyes, "I understand, honey! I've been there, too!", we need to get a little context here. She somehow managed to scrape her chest when we were outside so there is a red scrape right in the middle, and the above statement was said during her bath after I asked her what happened to her chest. Of course she didn't know either how it happened, but she was quite sure that her heart was broken. And right before I was leaving her room after the books, final song, back scratch, praying, water break, final words of "Don't forget to turn off the light, turn on Cinderella etc.", she said, "Don't forget the bandaid for my heart!" So I got it and positioned it and she pressed it down. If only it were always that easy! The only bad thing about it was that a couple hairs got caught in the bandaid as she was looking down admiring it while I got it in place. But she is already used to the pain of long, flowing beautiful hair. All the princesses are!

Clare's expressions are a trip--she's all about saying, "Yeah, DUDE." "I gave it to you, DUDE." Etcetera. Even Charlie says "Doo" now to be like her. Other funny words she has are "ganilla" for vanilla ice cream, "doornog" instead of doorknob, "boice" instead of voice (at bedtime she said "Pretty boice, Mom!" while I was singing "Praise God"--her name for "Amazing Grace"). She is usually so articulate I think the times she doesn't quite pronounce something right are so cute. In fact, she says so many funny things I can't keep track of them all. I journal guiltily in my head everyday, but rarely get anything written down. That is this blog's job. At dinner tonight we all laughed when she said, "It's not so bad after all!" after we had her try this egg/tuna salad concoction I made.

Charlie said "dinosaur" and "meat" at Michael and Karin's wedding last weekend, which I thought was ironic because they are very carnivorous words for a vegetarian wedding. He is also saying belly button ("bwee buh-uh"), pants ("peeps"), shoes (sounds like shoes now instead of "dooj"), orange ("awch"), and many others every day it seems. "Where's sister" was his first sentence when he didn't see her next to him in the van (we had moved her to the back so Nana wouldn't get clocked every time she got in and out during the trip to Mokey's wedding). The wedding was awesome, by the way. More on that in another post, and we're uploading pictures to our website soon.

I think tomorrow I will get out THE POOL finally, since it's been 90 degrees for like 5 days now (that's how long I have to gear myself up for something new). I have been dying to go swimming myself so I might put on a mumu or something and join them. I will probably get just as wet anyway, so might as well jump in (well, it's only a big plastic one so better not dive).