For some reason, it has helped me lately to write down each annoying thing I face each day the moment it happens. We had a less than ideal morning, and with the sound of cheerios crunching under my feet and "I want what he's having, Mom!", I raced to my notepad and furiously scribbled down my woes. Cleaning banana that's like glue off the floor and wooden high chair, not being able to sit down to eat my breakfast until I've gotten up 10 times for a washcloth, a spoon, raisins, water. Not being dressed or showered, not getting to exercise this morning, not being able to be sick. My list is already 7 (notebook size) pages, and it's only been 3 days. The list somehow makes me feel understood, or at least listened to. If Tom Hanks can talk to a volleyball, then why can't I talk to a little 4X6 notebook? It just seems to meet me on the fly more than a journal, which is a sit-down, intentional proces.
Clearly I have some organizational issues, and I admit, attitudinal adjustments to be made, but it seems like one decision compounds and train wrecks the rest of my day, and today it was, "Oh, I can't get up yet; I can barely move; this is the only time of the day I can be sick" (while Robert's still here). When I get up, I need to be ON. Or it will be noon and I'll still be in pajamas because my clean shirts are hanging out to dry in the basement because no way do I want to shrink my few clothing choices in the dryer. I like ketchup, but I don't like playing catch up. I'm not sure what I will do with my list, but I have been informally praying as I go (I don't want to make it a formal thing as I write because I find that I need to be able to just let it all out), and I'm sure rereading the whole thing will cause me to do a few things:
1. Start thinking about some of the good things or funny things, and be more motivated to jot them down too as we go along. Scenery is scenery, and I pray to see more of the good things that pass by through the window.
2. Start laughing about my days more--see the reality of things, that this truly is hard, and even someone with nerves of steel would be struggling, much more someone with control problems. Some of it really is ridiculous--I'll make a top 10 list soon, straight from my list.
3. Pick 3 or 4 things that wouldn't be too hard to change, so that I'm not dealing with the same little annoying thing each day when it would be easy to fix. It's crazy to see it the next day like I'm surprised, and fall out of love all over again with stuffing things in my fridge while making balancing act adjustments. Maybe I'll also focus on one big project that would have a prism-like effect on the rest of my day. Robert, if you're reading this, the list is not subject to scrutiny ("You said you were going to clean up the fridge!"). It's in the vault what projects I'm working on.
4. Pray through the items in a more "formal" way, and find ways to praise God, seek His wisdom, pour out my soul within me about this job that is so baffling, so big and so important. And confess my nitpicking attitude--it makes more cold pricklies than happy babies.
Thursday, April 10, 2008
Friday, March 21, 2008
Ode to Charlie
You came into this world as fast as can be
Two hours, two pushes and then you were free
And 15 months later I’m still sprinting after thee
Oh Charlie, our Charlie, you busy baby
There are times when you squeal just to get me to look
Other times I catch you first because I read you like a book
I try to cater to your needs, but my sanity was took
Oh Charlie, our Charlie, please let me off the hook
You are into the cabinets before I can say lickety splat
For that is what you do when you get a hold of that
It doesn’t matter what container you’re sneaky as a rat
Oh Charlie, our Charlie, if only you just sat
Often you are bouncing for an hour in your bed
You’re tired but you’re curious and that fills up your head
While others count sheep you are counting books instead
Oh Charlie, our Charlie, time for night night Mama said
Now eating is another story, but trust me, it is still very sad
When I give you something new you begin to like what you had
“Dis” and pointing, turning your head, and wanting to stand so bad
Oh Charlie, our Charlie, you are such a silly lad
When you encounter drawers, dishwashers, open doors or an open fridge
You muscle your way in and block my way (only just a smidge)
So I lift you screaming from the milk jar you left teetering on the edge
Oh Charlie, our Charlie, how you love to combine gravity and the gentle nudge
If I happen to leave any kind of remote within your reach
You reprogram the channels then I begin to hear you preach
On the joys of texting every single contact in my phone (free speech)
Oh Charlie, our Charlie, you’re our very own security breach
Your attraction to bathrooms, stairs, purses and boxes I will never understand
They pull you like a magnet and completely draw you in
You like to rearrange them until they are nothing like I planned
Oh Charlie, our Charlie, I guess it’s part of growing into a little man
"Shah" "Buh BAH" "eht" "wah" "un hunh" "ahahah" You express yourself so verbally
How can I get annoyed when you're favorite people are your sister, your daddy and me?
You could just play with toys but there's so much else to see
Oh Charlie, our Charlie, someday I'll miss the busy baby
Two hours, two pushes and then you were free
And 15 months later I’m still sprinting after thee
Oh Charlie, our Charlie, you busy baby
There are times when you squeal just to get me to look
Other times I catch you first because I read you like a book
I try to cater to your needs, but my sanity was took
Oh Charlie, our Charlie, please let me off the hook
You are into the cabinets before I can say lickety splat
For that is what you do when you get a hold of that
It doesn’t matter what container you’re sneaky as a rat
Oh Charlie, our Charlie, if only you just sat
Often you are bouncing for an hour in your bed
You’re tired but you’re curious and that fills up your head
While others count sheep you are counting books instead
Oh Charlie, our Charlie, time for night night Mama said
Now eating is another story, but trust me, it is still very sad
When I give you something new you begin to like what you had
“Dis” and pointing, turning your head, and wanting to stand so bad
Oh Charlie, our Charlie, you are such a silly lad
When you encounter drawers, dishwashers, open doors or an open fridge
You muscle your way in and block my way (only just a smidge)
So I lift you screaming from the milk jar you left teetering on the edge
Oh Charlie, our Charlie, how you love to combine gravity and the gentle nudge
If I happen to leave any kind of remote within your reach
You reprogram the channels then I begin to hear you preach
On the joys of texting every single contact in my phone (free speech)
Oh Charlie, our Charlie, you’re our very own security breach
Your attraction to bathrooms, stairs, purses and boxes I will never understand
They pull you like a magnet and completely draw you in
You like to rearrange them until they are nothing like I planned
Oh Charlie, our Charlie, I guess it’s part of growing into a little man
"Shah" "Buh BAH" "eht" "wah" "un hunh" "ahahah" You express yourself so verbally
How can I get annoyed when you're favorite people are your sister, your daddy and me?
You could just play with toys but there's so much else to see
Oh Charlie, our Charlie, someday I'll miss the busy baby
Eating
Trying to get to the library and to take those costumes back. Clarissa had a huge Hallelujah lunch--fruit smoothie, celery, peppers, blackberries, strawberries, big carrot, cherry tomatoes, veggie cheese bagel. And cleaned her plate, and asked for more tomatoes and blackberries.
At least one of them eats!! Charlie sure likes those strawberries. I had to give him some before his nap b/c he saw me get them out.
Remember how I said they "explode" at 15 mos? (with learning, language) He has exploded, all over the house. Has an opinion, and pulls out everything. Need to babyproof some more and rearrange some things, for my sanity and maybe his safety. They were throwing/rolling those glass yogurt containers; he'd gotten all 7 out of the cabinet. And many other things, like putting her toilet seat into the toilet. She flushed the toilet while I was in here with him and I had to sprint to the bathroom b/c I knew it was going to overflow. He also says "uh uh" whether he shakes or nods his head, FYI. So the nodding is what to pay attention to.
At least one of them eats!! Charlie sure likes those strawberries. I had to give him some before his nap b/c he saw me get them out.
Remember how I said they "explode" at 15 mos? (with learning, language) He has exploded, all over the house. Has an opinion, and pulls out everything. Need to babyproof some more and rearrange some things, for my sanity and maybe his safety. They were throwing/rolling those glass yogurt containers; he'd gotten all 7 out of the cabinet. And many other things, like putting her toilet seat into the toilet. She flushed the toilet while I was in here with him and I had to sprint to the bathroom b/c I knew it was going to overflow. He also says "uh uh" whether he shakes or nods his head, FYI. So the nodding is what to pay attention to.
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